Open Forum

Proceed With Caution

Attention Colorado Car Drivers,

Perhaps I lived in Texas too long. Perhaps it’s warped how I think about cars forever. But still I wonder Colorado. How in the world are you driving with un-tinted windows?! It seems a painful way to commute if you ask me. (It’s all this mountain air that makes the sun so bright, it practically sears.)  The tint on my windows is dark enough to suit the Secret Service. I revel in it and feel slightly superior to those who lack the tint.

Sincerely,

Cars without tinted windows look silly to me.

Dear Trash and Sanitation Team,

We need to talk. It seems your schedule to pick up trash fluctuates weekly. One week I can hear your obnoxiously loud wildebeest of a truck at the crack of dawn. The next week the beast won’t patrol until 4 pm. Pick a time. Any time. And stick to it.

Sincerely,

The -Garbage-Can’s-Full

Dear Post Office,

I sent a box to Utah and a box to the Army Man in Afghanistan. I shipped both boxes on the same day and I paid priority shipping rates for both boxes. My husband got his box in Afghanistan first. Seriously?!!

Sincerely,

Afghanistan is still 11,000 miles away from my house.

Dear Shutterfly,

Stop sending me 50% coupons and offers for free photos books. I keep ordering calendars and giving them to family members!! It’s a disease. I need a 12 step program specifically designed to keep me away from you. Stop looking at me like that. No I will not order Valentine Day cards!

Sincerely,

I just found the perfect Valentine Cards from Shutterfly.

Dear Readers and Commentators,

I couldn’t do this without you. Some days I feel like my blog is my only link to sanity. I can spew my thoughts out there and all three of you lovely readers give me daily affirmations. =) I love  every one of you, be ye blog reader or regular commenter. I wish we could all get together and chat in person.

Sincerely,

I am much funnier in written form.

5 thoughts on “Open Forum

  1. *You are every bit as much fun in real life, if not more!
    *The mail system is ridiculous. Although, hooray for getting your package to Afghanistan so quickly!
    *Our car windows lack tint, much to Matt’s dismay. I just can’t bring myself to pay for it. Especially when we need new brakes, belts and a bumper. Haha, oh how I hate cars!

  2. Those of u with tinted windows are hiding your drug-lordishness. Those of us without are frying. There is a law in colorful Colorado for how much tint u r allowed to carry. Honey, I am afraid you’re packin’
    The post office is second only to the US government on waste and stupidity. I regularly get mail for some schmoe down the road who, like me can’t seem to get HIS mail at all. I almost would rather drive the darn letters to people cause it will be faster! However, u get what u pay for. What will $8 worth of gas get ya? That’s right from here to 7-11 where all the post office people are getting a slurpee.

  3. Dear TK,

    I enjoy your humor. I bet you are every bit as funny in person as you are in written form. Give yourself some credit.

    As to the Colorado driver’s, they do think they are far superior than other drivers thus being able to handle the intense mile high sun. I speak from experience.

    Also, if you had to pick up trash, you’d probably procrastinate the time, too. Or maybe, they like to change it up to make it a bit more exciting… 😉

    As for the mail, I guess the government, ie that apo box is working faster for a change. SHOCKER!

    Love,
    2busy

  4. I bed you’re every bit as funny IRL as you are here : ) We’ll have to get together sometime and I’ll let you know for sure ; )

    I love tint. The back of my car is limousine quality. Unfortunately IA says I can’t do the same for the front : ( Does that mean I can sue for visual damage?

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