Uncle Ken saved my Keister, “an ode”

*7:45 AM on May 4th 2010. I am packing and getting ready for my return flight home from Washington D.C. I check my purse and find my wallet to be MIA. I have trudged all over D.C. yesterday.  It could be any of the many places I went. This is a slightly exaggerated version of how I replaced my ID and caught a later flight home.*

Kernal Ken sprung and snapped to when I pitifully cried

I can’t find my wallet with all my ID contained inside

Kernal Ken didn’t reprimand or scream.

He simply called out in a battle like cry- We must fix this whole thing!

Then he whipped out his laptop and cell phone too.

(As any latter-day Hero must surely do)

He dialed, he questioned, he commanded and bluffed

He churned up those DoD workers ’til they were nothing but DUST

He said, TK here is what you must do

Have your husband fill out Form 11-72

Then fax it forthwith, don’t dawdle or delay

We must hurry if I, Kernal Ken, am to save the day

We scooted to Fort Meyer as quick as you please

Corporal Ivey said you must fill out this form and state the truth

That you lost your wallet and you didn’t know what to do

Swear that Kernal Ken saved your life and then I will let you go

Back to Denver and back to the snow

Quick as flash we headed off to DEERS

I had a military ID so fast

It gave those slow government workers WHIPLASH!

We dashed to the airport and then he said

We love you but now you must fly

And then Kernal Ken waved a most cheerful good riddance bye

I sallied forth to my gate like it had all been a good joke

Only to find my airplane was broke!!!

*Many thanks also to Aunt Victoria for also keeping a cool head in a tough situation. She helped me call all the lost and founds of every location I had been at the previous day. Unfortunately someone did steal my wallet. When I called the bank to cancel my cards I found that there were already two suspicious charges on the account. My bank and especially Southwest Airlines have bent over backwards to help get things back on track. In the future I will be doing all of my flying with Southwest Airlines.*

10 thoughts on “Uncle Ken saved my Keister, “an ode”

  1. Hooray for Uncle Ken!!!! Loved, loved, LOVED the poem! (although I can’t even imagine how stressed you must have been when it was all happening!)

  2. You’re so clever Tobi! The Kernal will feel so loved, not just by your praise, but by the fact that you did it in poetic form! Good on ya!

  3. This poem/story is so stinking cute! I’m glad you got everything worked out. Yet another reason the military rocks–can you imagine getting a driver license that fast? Also, Southwest has been my best friend for a long time now! I’ve kind of missed them since I got married and started flying less. I can’t wait to hear more about your DC trip!

    • so cute! what a hassle. 😦 i’m glad you weren’t alone and that is all behind you now so you can concentrate on much more important matters – like posting more pictures! 🙂

  4. Those bargaining skills run in the family-what a stressful turn of events-but sweet poetry to make it right!

  5. What a nightmare. How cute that you did it like Dickens. I hope the rest of the month of May is better for you. Happy Momma’s day honey.

  6. Pingback: Who do you love? « Picture Me This

  7. Pingback: Stealthy Mommy Mode | Picture Me This

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