*7:45 AM on May 4th 2010. I am packing and getting ready for my return flight home from Washington D.C. I check my purse and find my wallet to be MIA. I have trudged all over D.C. yesterday. It could be any of the many places I went. This is a slightly exaggerated version of how I replaced my ID and caught a later flight home.*
Kernal Ken sprung and snapped to when I pitifully cried
I can’t find my wallet with all my ID contained inside
Kernal Ken didn’t reprimand or scream.
He simply called out in a battle like cry- We must fix this whole thing!
Then he whipped out his laptop and cell phone too.
(As any latter-day Hero must surely do)
He dialed, he questioned, he commanded and bluffed
He churned up those DoD workers ’til they were nothing but DUST
He said, TK here is what you must do
Have your husband fill out Form 11-72
Then fax it forthwith, don’t dawdle or delay
We must hurry if I, Kernal Ken, am to save the day
We scooted to Fort Meyer as quick as you please
Corporal Ivey said you must fill out this form and state the truth
That you lost your wallet and you didn’t know what to do
Swear that Kernal Ken saved your life and then I will let you go
Back to Denver and back to the snow
Quick as flash we headed off to DEERS
I had a military ID so fast
It gave those slow government workers WHIPLASH!
We dashed to the airport and then he said
We love you but now you must fly
And then Kernal Ken waved a most cheerful good riddance bye
I sallied forth to my gate like it had all been a good joke
Only to find my airplane was broke!!!
*Many thanks also to Aunt Victoria for also keeping a cool head in a tough situation. She helped me call all the lost and founds of every location I had been at the previous day. Unfortunately someone did steal my wallet. When I called the bank to cancel my cards I found that there were already two suspicious charges on the account. My bank and especially Southwest Airlines have bent over backwards to help get things back on track. In the future I will be doing all of my flying with Southwest Airlines.*