In the year of our Lord Two Thousand and Ten, there came to be an edict in the land of the Army. They did command that my Army Man should go forth unto the land of Afghanistan. The Army man did not murmur or cry, Tis a hard thing you have asked of me. He simply prepared whatever was needful for his journey.
And he said unto me…”Wife take this smart phone. And use it unto your own good. For it shall not work in the land of sand. So tis needful that I pass it down unto you.” And the wife agreed to watch over the smart phone along with their two small offspring.
And so it came to pass that the Army Man did make his journey. He did leave behind many precious things. And he did command his wife to watch over them all.
But in the year of our Lord Two Thousand and eleven, on the 14th day of February, there came to be call for mourning. A great cry went up from the wife. For she had dropped the smart phone and shattered the touchscreen.
HULK SMASH!
And so she called forth unto her husband. She was full of sorrow. She did cry for forgiveness as she confessed her error. (And also thanked her husband for the flowers and chocolates.)
And the Army Man laughed with great mirth and said unto her….. “Would I be a bad husband if I said that I knew you would demolish it before my deployment was up?”
Hear me now oh wife of Army Man. Thou should not mourne the lose of Army Man’s Smart Phone. For thy husband should have paid tribute to the Smart Phone store and taken possession of a cover. As he would not go into battle without protection, neither should he have left said Smart Phone without protection.
Oh! I’m sad for you. I’d be heartbroken without my smartphone. Funny, this time last year I was fine without it. But now that I’ve experienced the joy, it’s hard turning back!
Hear me now oh wife of Army Man. Thou should not mourne the lose of Army Man’s Smart Phone. For thy husband should have paid tribute to the Smart Phone store and taken possession of a cover. As he would not go into battle without protection, neither should he have left said Smart Phone without protection.
Awesome Wayne! I love it!! And I am looking for a case for it.
Love it!
Oh! I’m sad for you. I’d be heartbroken without my smartphone. Funny, this time last year I was fine without it. But now that I’ve experienced the joy, it’s hard turning back!
This was so fun and entertaining. Such a great exercise in creative writing…Sorry about the phone. You’ve got a great husband.
Next time, don’t put on so much lotion, it makes everything as slippery as eels. Alligator skin is a small price to pay for a sure grip.
That was funny. The army man has great patience and a new phone too! Wow what is a win, win.
Very entertaining story, but such a sad ending 😦 @Wayne, I love your comment!
The happy ending comes at the end of the week. =) Stay tuned!
Love, love, love it! Did he leave it with you just so you could destroy it and he could get a new one?!
Amanda-
That’s just diabolical enough to be true. That was probably his plan all along. He’ll probably come home and demand an iPhone.
Ouch!
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You made me smile! Thanks.
That’s so sad! But something I’m sure I’ll do before I’ve had my phone a full year.
Stopping by from CBC.
Chortle, snar and other mirthful sounds keeps those army guys going and the rest of us 2.
Thanks (website in development – coming soon)
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